I’ve never been one to overuse that statement that means so much. Some don’t hear it enough, some long to hear it from someone who never says it, and some throw it around as casually as a smile or simple hello. I’m talking about telling someone you love them. I have nothing against saying those meaningful three words, I just choose to say them when the mood strikes, even though I’m often feeling it all the time (for certain people, of course). This was all true until my son was born. I told him I loved him when the mood struck. As a young toddler he’d hold my cheeks in his little dimpled hands and rattle off toddler speak that resembled “I love yooouuu!”. As he got older I also started confessing my love at predetermined times… when I was “supposed” to tell him I loved him… like bedtime, or when I was leaving, for example. Then I started to notice when I said it, he’d say “no”. What?!? What do you mean “no”? Was he just being a toddler? Was he showing me his independence? Then it all of the sudden made sense. I associated telling him I loved him with things he doesn’t necessarily love himself. I’m leaving you when all you want to do is be with me. I love you. I’m putting you to bed when you were having so much fun playing. I love you. Saying I love you routinely at these times was pretty much like saying “I’m going to make you slightly unhappy right now”. I would have said “no” too! I’m back to saying those special words when the mood strikes (which feels more meaningful to me anyway), while also SHOWING him I love him every chance I get. He does the same. There’s no one way to be a good mom, but doing what feels right (instead of doing what you think you are supposed to do) is a great start.